Dreaming something is one thing but living it is another. My dreams look different than I expected up close. I was so sure I wanted this freedom, this independence – to figure out who I am. But as it turns out, I’m someone who misses home and her family and her fiancé while in Ireland. I took a long walk and a hard look at what I want. God and I conversed about what it is I’m seeking and why it is I’m seeking it. I have 40 more days. That doesn’t sound like very long, and it isn’t. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that this too shall pass. This state of homesickness will go, and it’ll come back again, and before I know it, I’ll be on the flight heading for home. I want to be here. I chose to do this, and it’s important that I take ownership for my decisions. I had this dream, and I chased it all the way to Ireland. It’s beautiful here right now. The bench I’m sitting on gives me the most wonderful view of the sun and clouds in the distance. I can feel the wind playing with my hair, dancing with the grass. I can look down to see a patch of wild daisies and a path that leads somewhere down the road and around the corner, out of sight. My pen’s shadow moves as I write, and there’s an iridescent reflection off my pink watch band. The more I reflect and relax, the more at peace I feel. This peacefulness is God, and I know he’s hugging me, allowing me to hand over all my anxieties and insecurities. I’m loved, and I know I’m lucky to have so much to miss. Thank God for my life. It’s a wonderful life.
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